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  • Marnie Matthews, MSW, LICSW posted an update in the group Group logo of Clutter BuddiesClutter Buddies 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    What are your biggest sorting/discarding challenges?

    • I get caught up in where things go. For example ” cookbooks” – do they belong in the kitchen or on a book shelf. My next thought would be “I don’t really use cookbooks”. I think I keep them for the “idea of cooking”. It’s what the cookbooks represent to me – being social, throwing parties, losing weight, cooking healthy meals for the family, etc. The reality is even if my house was perfectly presentable, I wouldn’t be interested in throwing parties or cooking the meals in the books. If anything I would go online and get a recipe if I needed it. So the answer is “I get stuck” All this runs thru my head and I sit down and watch TV

      • This is a good question. I’m flying back from California right now but will put a thorough response down when I land. If you’re in the group tonight we can also discuss this. It’s great having you here.

      • Your insight on this is incredible and a difficult place to get to for most people. A significant amount of acquiring and/or attachment has to do with opportunity – both potential and missed. When you are thinking this through and you get to the point of “I wouldn’t be interested in throwing parties or cooking meals in the books…..” Have you ever experimented with releasing one of the cookbooks in questions to see how you would react?

        • It has taken me a long time to get where I am – just recently verbalizing I have a challenge with hoarding. I went to counseling for years and had a very good relationship (trust) with my counselor but this isn’t a subject I would have ever brought up. Even now I don’t think I would want her to know, it feels like she would look at me differently (judge); even the thought of telling her brings tears. I have been making a lot of progress decluttering and getting rid of unnecessary items. It is helpful to remember that I don’t have to get rid of all 7 of my cookbooks, just start with one.

          • You are definitely not alone in the non-disclosure department! Many people have significant hesitation in disclosing this issue with their therapist. I’ve met people that have seen the same therapist for 20 years and never said anything. What I see happening now is that more mental health professionals are becoming aware of this issue and getting basic training that hopefully will help them develop a better understanding and empathy. While many mental health professionals still don’t treat hoarding, it is helpful for them to know that their patients are struggling with it as it is a key component of many issues.